EPISODE GUIDE SEASON 8

Back In The Red - Part 1:

Not only have the nanobots recreated Red Dwarf, they've also populated the ship with its original crew. This is extremely good news for Rimmer. Starbug crashes through a duct inside the massive Red Dwarf - and into the posterior of a rat. "I hope we don't get stopped by the cops," Holly dead-pans. "They don't like it when you're rat-arsed." Rimmer refutes Lister's claims of integrity: "People of honour generally don't take a Polaroid of your snoozing todger, draw a moustache, mouth and ears on it, and then pin it up on the notice-board under 'Missing Persons'." Kryten's psychiatrist is confused by the mechanoid's start-up date: "2340. Now that's in the future, isn't it?" Kryten: "Yes sir, I was created after you died..."

Back In The Red - Part 2:

Rimmer is invited to dinner with the Captain and to make the evening go with a swing douses himself with the "Sexual Magnetism Virus" making himself irresistible to the female crew. Rimmer delivers his extra-long, special Rimmer salute for Hollister - who pretty much has time to get a cup of coffee while he waits. The sexual magnetism virus takes its toll on Rimmer, who, after sleeping his way through four senior female officers, tries to regain control by injecting his groin with anaesthetic, leaving his legs to flail beneath him. Disguised as the Dibbley family, Kochanski, Lister and the Cat beat interrogation by giving their occupation - "Computer programmers."

Back In The Red - Part 3:

The Dwarfers face two years in the brig for crimes against the Space Corps. Realising their defence has more holes than Lister's underpants they escape to prove their innocence. The Cat impresses the gorgeous air-traffic controller by doing a tap dance with the Blue Midget. Rimmer edits the crew's AR conversation as Lister gets mad: "I'm gonna cut off both his [CUT] with a blunt knife!"

Cassandra:

Taking Holly's advice Lister joins the "Canaries" - a battle hardened convict army trained to go on suicide missions, and not, as he thought, the prison choir! Rimmer's face falls as he is told that he's been signed up for the Canaries, too. Cassandra tells the crew that all the Canaries will be dead in one hour except for Rimmer - who'll be dead in 20 minutes. Rimmer suggests Kochanski's predicted future of them sleeping together might be caused by her being blind drunk. "That doesn't excuse my other four senses!" she exclaims.

Krytie TV:

Kryten starts his own pirate TV station to entertain the prisoners. Rimmer, concerned for his appeal, refuses to sanction secretly shooting the women showering. "All right, who are you?" Holly asks. "And what have you done with our Rimmer?" Lister attempts to tidy the quarters he's just sabotaged before Warden Ackerman returns to his room.

Pete - Part 1:

When Rimmer and Lister are forced to take on the guards in a basketball game they sabotage the opposition's half-time juice with 'Boing' - the virility enhancement drug. The prisoners play the warders at basketball - the latter heavily under the influence of virility-enhancement drug 'Boing.' Lister and Rimmer find the virus they're using eats more than just potato skins, and have to report, bald and naked, to the captain - who then starts losing his hair... The crew accidentally turn Pete the sparrow into Pete the Tyrannosaurus Rex - just another day with the Dwarfers...

Pete - Part 2:

The Dwarfers discover birds are descended from dinosaurs when they de-evolve a sparrow into a T-Rex! Lister and Rimmer receive the blows from a fight they fought half an hour before. Kryten becomes a real man as Kochanski discovers his out-of-control penis, Archie, running lose in their quarters. The Cat suffers an Alien-esque moment as Archie tries to wriggle out of his jacket.

Only The Good...:

Rimmer crosses into a mirror universe where he discovers another version of himself captaining the ship. Rimmer squabbles with the vending machine, who threatens him with its immense knowledge: "I know your taste in confectionery, and I also know... I also know... Well, actually that is all I know..." Kryten displays just the right level of sensitivity towards Kochanski with his 'Have A Fantastic Period' banner. Ackerman proves Rimmer and Lister are drunk by asking: "Who fancies a kebab?"

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