EPISODE GUIDE SEASON 5
Holoship:
Rimmer is transmitted from Red Dwarf to the advanced Holoship "Enlightenment" which contains the cream of the Space Corps. Everything he has dreamed of exists on this ship. Can he earn a commission to join this fantastic vessel?
Rimmer is abducted in a flash of light. Kryten: "They've taken Mr. Rimmer!" Cat: "Quick, let's get out of here before they bring him back!"
The holocrew usually talk during sex, making Rimmer seem quite ignorant when he nails Nirvana Crane: "I hardly said anything, apart from 'geronimo'!"
Rimmer bids his crewmates farewell: "Over the years I've come to regard you all as... people I met."
The Inquisitor:
The Inquisitor roams through Time weeding out life's wastrels and deleting the worthless - the Red Dwarf crew are in big, big trouble.
The Cat justifies his existence to the Inquisitor by simply pointing out, "I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass."
Lister proves he knows Rimmer by reminding him of his greenhouse tryst with Fiona Barrington: "You thought you'd got lucky, but it turned out that all the time you had your hand in warm compost."
Lister uses a severed hand to by-pass a security scanner. Kryten is disgusted, "If mechanoid's could barf I'd be onto my fifth bag by now!"
Terrorform:
Terrorform:
Rimmer is taken prisoner inside his own mind and ends up being stripped, oiled, manacled, licked, chained, taunted, humiliated and nearly has a knobbly thing the size of a Mexican agarve cactus jammed up where only customs men dare to probe.
Frozen with fear at the 'spider' making its way up his leg, Lister types his message to the Cat: "The lower half of my body has gone numb." "That's probably for the best," the Cat replies.
Should the crew dive in to rescue Rimmer, or sit like lemons and watch him get tortured? Cat: "Anybody got any opera glasses?"
Quarantine:
After an encounter at a viral research centre, Rimmer forces the crew to spend twelve weeks in quarantine. But who's watching the watcher?
Dr. Lanstrom blasts at the crew with her hex-vision. Lister: "Why is it we never meet anyone nice?" Cat: "Why is it we never meet anyone who can shoot straight?"
Rimmer emerges from around a corner, glove puppet fuming: "Mr Flibble's very cross..."
Demons & Angels:
Who knows what evil lurks within the hearts of men? The Red Dwarf crew find out when they encounter their dark sides - four evil "doppelgangers" hell bent on their destruction.
Lister and the Cat taste the impossible - an edible Pot Noodle.
Operating under remote-control Lister is forced to eat a live tarantula. Ugh.
Back to Reality: The crew of Red Dwarf discover an abandoned space ship on an ocean bed but suddenly the salvage operation doesn't sound quite so sexy when they realise all of the occupants of the vessel committed suicide. Attack by a gigantic sea monster makes escape the favourite option.
Lister assess the possibilities of a giant squid attack: "It thinks we're either a threat, food or a mate - it's gonna either kill us, eat us or hump us."
The Cat discovers he is really Duane Dibbley, sandal-wearing, thermos-toting loser. "So this is really me?" he asks. "A no-style gimbo with teeth the druids could use as a place of worship?
The crew hallucinate a high-speed car chase.
SEASON 6
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