EPISODE GUIDE SEASON 1
A radiation leak wipes out the crew of the mining ship Red Dwarf, leaving only one survivor - chicken soup machine repair man, Dave Lister. After three million years in suspended animation, Lister emerges to find he is the last human being in the universe. But he is not alone. Lister is told by the captain that Frankenstien will not be put back together after it's been dissected. "Well with respect, sir, what's in it for the cat?" Rimmer's attempt to cheat in his astro-navigation exam fails when sweat ruins the answers he had written on his body.
When Red Dwarf breaks the speed of light, time dilates, and the crew begin to experience visions from their own future. Sadly for Lister his future appears to include being reduced to his component atoms by a rather large explosion. Happily for Rimmer, Lister's future appears to include being reduced to his component atoms by a rather large explosion. Rimmer walks in and has an utterly nonsensical conversation with Lister. Then does it again - only this time, things are beginning to come clear...
Balance of Power:
Rimmer encounters his most dangerous blood chilling challenge ever - Lister is taking the chef's exam. If Lister passes he will hold sufficient rank to have Rimmer replaced as the ship's hologram. Just how low will the universe's most obnoxious dead man stoop to stop him? Why did Holly bring Rimmer back, Lister wails, "Hermann Goering would have been better than Rimmer. Okay he was a drug-crazed transvestite, but at least we could have gone dancing." Lister has spilt a goat vindaloo over Rimmer's time-table, causing Rimmer to waste his outlawed learning drugs on memorising a conversation with his unapologetic bunk-mate. Rimmer discovers he still has Kochanski's right breast, and asks for his own nipple back. "There's no rush, Holly."
Waiting for God:
Holly, the ship's computer, recovers a strange unidentified pod floating in the frozen wastes of Deep Space. Rimmer is convinced it contains the remains of a long-dead alien warrior, and immediately begins a scientific investigation to decipher the pod's hieroglyphics. Meanwhile, Lister's rather mundane day perks up a little when he discovers he is a God. The credits roll just as Rimmer discovers the contents of the 'alien' vessel: "It's a smegging garbage pod!"
Confidence and Paranoia:
Lister contracts a mutated pneumonia virus. The hallucinations of his fevered brain materialise in solid form, and suddenly the ship is beset by herring rain and exploding sixteenth century mayors of Warsaw. When his fever breaks, Lister wakes up to find he has created personifications of his Confidence and Paranoia, and a war of manipulation begins. One of the skutters attempts to thrust a hypodermic needle into Paranoia on Rimmer's command, but is caught in the act: "This is 'Stabbim,' one of our skutters..." Confidence insists that "Oxygen's for losers" and proves his point by removing his helmet during a space walk. The Cat cleans his dirty washing. With his tongue.
Rimmer, the odious hologram, creates his perfect companion - an identical duplicate of himself. He moves out of the quarters he shares with Lister and starts rooming with his doppelganger. At first things are blissful, but the course of true love never runs smoothly, and soon the two Rimmers find themselves locked in a conflict so fierce, only one of them can survive. Holly informs Lister that his mouldy sausages have taken over the Earth. The Cat goes a-courting. On roller-skates. With a megaphone: "Attention all lady cats! I am feeling very sexy!"